So this is what I've come up with.

1. I've read a number of online articles this afternoon that describe the work of a lawyer in terms of service to other humans. Basically if I become a lawyer, I learn how to navigate through the legal system on behalf of others. When you say it like that the idea becomes very appealing to me.

2. With all that debt, I might not be able to do public service law right away. But I have to believe there is some sort of relatively well-paying law I could practice that doesn't offend my soul. For example, family law. My whole inspiration to go to law school after all was the woman who helped me get the protective order against Creepy Stalker Ex.

3. If my need to do good requires I do more than what I can do for pay, there is always pro-bono work. I will have to make a promise to myself that I will make time for that.

4. My first choice school is in the top 20 in the nation while also being the cheapest of my options so it's really a no-brainer. I would have to move away from my Joel which makes me sad. But we discussed over lunch that a long distance relationship isn't exactly the most horrible thing that could happen especially considering how busy I'll be during law school. Weekends might be all I have to give during law school anyway, and if that's the case, it would be in everyone's best interest for him to continue his life up here instead of uprooting it to come and be neglected by me.

5. I want to be a professional. I want greater earning power. I want to be able to take credit for the work I do. After years of being an admin, these things have become more important to me.

6. I think me going to law school will be good for Brandon. First of all during school I won't be chained to a desk so I will be freer to work my schedule around his awake time. Second, after school I will be in a better position to provide for him financially. And third, there's the whole me being a professional thing which I think will be better for my psyche. And if mama's happy, everyone's happy.

So I think the whole dilemma is now concluded. I'm going to law school. Problem solved. Now we're all free to carry on with other activities.